foxes, Hounds and annoying cats
by t3h maniac
Summary: It seems a former USA agent has found santuary in the streets of Roanapur, however seeing as how he knows too much and is in such a dangerous area, the elites have been called in: Foxhound has a mission
1. Chapter 1

**Foxes, Hounds and Annoying Cats**

**Possibly **_**the**_** crackiest idea I've ever had and that's saying something, I attempt to break new ground by creating the first Metal Gear/Black Lagoon crossover.**

**It'll be as painful for people in Roanapur as it sounds.**

**Disclaimer: I own neither the locations, nor the characters from their respective series.**

**--**

Roanapur was one of those cities that was what you made it out to be. To those who just take a glance at the area, every area under the control of Triads, Russians, Sicilians or Cartel mobsters. To most people, who tried to live 'normal' lives with a fair days work, this place was hell on earth: temptation around every other corner, death around _every_ corner and bars that seldom lasted a month without emergency refurbishment. But to others it was acceptance, people who didn't care what your background was too much so long as you kept your mouth shut and did what you got paid for. It was accepted that at least 50% of the population was an active mobster and an extra 20% on top were freelance psychopaths hired by that other 50% that…

I'll stop there before this gets posted in TV Tropes under Department of Repundancy Department.

Inside the church of violence ontop of the hill a low groan echoed throughout the not-so hallowed halls "Fuck…" A woman dressed in a nun habit with black sunglasses tossed and turned on one of the pews. A night on the town obviously had not been the best idea in the world, especially with one of the most notorious of heavy drinkers. Still, drinking with Revy was usually fun, the morning after however… at least there was little chance of being pregnant.

"Tea sister Eda?" Rico asked, slowly poking the hung-over gun-runner

"Crap… what was I drinking last night?" She asked, her head trying to piece last night together, and there was this weird itch on her right ass cheek for some reason.

"What do you usually have?"

"I remember shots, could have been whiskey, and it could have been Vodka. How'd I get back here?" She asked, her clothes were still mainly intact, good sign for now.

"I believe Revy was carrying you here, she was smiling for some reason." Rico said calmly.

"Good for that bitch now let me get back to sleep," Eda replied, laying back down and pushing the tea set away. Rico moved to leave her alone before she bolted upward shouting "oh, shit. Oh, shit! OH SHIT!" as she tore through the church and the nearby office to find a bathroom and a mirror

"I see you're awake Eda." Sister Yolanda commented, gently sipping her regular 11 o' clock tea.

"That motherfucking, cocksucking, shiteating, cumdrinking BITCH!" Eda screamed.

"I assume you two had fun last night."

"She is dead! You hear me! She is gonna pay for this, big time! Why the hell did I think shots were a good idea? Now I've got _this_ on my ass." She said, bursting out of the bathroom, the habit partially removed and pointing to a new tattoo, one that read 'property of Revy – bitch'.

"Very interesting dear, now cover yourself up and dress properly." Yolanda answered, not even bothering to look at the new ink.

"Yes Sister Yolanda. Stupid bitch thinks she can drag my drunken ass anywhere she wants… how the hell did she manage to? I can drink her under the table easy…"

"Your American friends called earlier, not the usual ones either, a mister Cambell: rather nice fellow polite at all times, the name seems to ring a bell but I can't remember."

"Oh yeah, what did they want?" Eda asked, slowly moving back to replace her clothes.

"You apparently, they won't talk to someone such as myself, you should probably call them back, just in case it is important."

"Fine. Even my ass would have felt the needle." Eda continued to grumble.

"And cease talking about your rear end, its not as if you can see it under those clothes, perhaps the young girl may not remember it clearly enough herself to lay claim so you have nothing to worry about. Except possibly divine retribution." Yolanda commented, sometimes it seemed like she was the only sane person in the city, everyone else had their problems, a foul mouth, drinking habit. It took a bit to get on the head nun's bad side, even when it came to refusing people she had the manners to do it politely. Manners seemed to be another thing lost in this city.

"What is it? Uh-huh, so you want me to take care of this? City's a big place, plenty of places for a rat to find some hole to crawl in." Eda answered in her normal tone, so some spy had decided to seek refuge here, not too difficult as long as they avoided offending any of the big 4 gangs in Roanapur, but her air of confidence dropped suddenly as her colleagues continued to talk "You're not. Please tell me that this is some sick sadistic joke, that you ain't really going to bring that lot here. You know what, I can do it fine, no problem, just give me a little time and I'll have his neck the next time he goes to eat a slice of cheese. I understand." She placed the phone back on the hanger, letting her forehead rest on the wall "Fuck. I really hate my job sometimes."

--

In undisclosed location colonel Roy Cambell, former Green Beret was briefing the latest mission to one of the most elite branches of the military: Foxhound. The unit had a reputation of consisting of freaks and being unstable, no-one really trusted the unit, the previous commander, a soldier under the alias Big Boss had tried to use the unit as a cover to form his own nation of soldiers, but now his demise at the hands of now retired agent Solid Snake had lead to the rebuilding of the unit.

Now its main members were: Vulcan Raven, an overly large (height and muscle wise) Inuit Shaman who can wield his namesake's former aircraft cannon as well as the power supply as a normal man would wield an assault Rifle.

Sniper Wolf, the current top sniper in the world, has managed to alleviate the need of sleep, allowing her to track a target constantly.

Decoy Octopus, the best disguise expert and information operative and the only one without training in firearms, preferring to go un-armed. Despite this he has managed to infiltrate and extract several key personnel and information.

Revolver Ocelot, the oldest member of the unit having fought in multiple armies since the age of 18 where he had quickly risen to the rank of GRU colonel, the leading expert in the US about any underground activities, despite his attempts to prove his loyalty his status in Foxhound has come under scrutiny due to his work with organized crime in Russia, Chicago, and other places.

Psycho Mantis, the worlds finest psychic. Able to read minds and move objects by sheer force of will, is rumoured to be insane but for his duration in Foxhound, he had shown no sign of such tendencies, he tended to always be seen with a gas mask on as according to him, it helps to filter out thoughts of anyone except the man he's extracting them from. Any limits on his power have yet to be tested.

And finally Liquid Snake, the SAS trained son of Big Boss and brother of Solid Snake, applied to Foxhound soon after his brother's retirement. However any accusations of his success only being family were quelled when he set all the records for the VR simulator as well as the assault training course, both of which were set by former member Grey Fox, and had been untouched for several years.

"Aproximatley 1 week ago one of our agents in China managed to escape with several documents that the Government of both countries would prefer kept out of the public eye." The Colonel explained to the group.

"What point would that make? Does he intend to make money selling this information?" Liquid asked.

"Yes and no, before he disappeared of our radar he sent a message saying that if his life was secured the documents would be handed back to their respective countries. However, this will incriminate the United States so we need to take him out and retrieve both sets of information before this situation gets out of hand."

"Do we at least have a name to go by?" Sniper Wolf ventured, so far all they had was a picture and a location.

"His real name is Nicholas Kang: born in Hong Kong, raised in Los Angeles and a former SWAT officer. He was picked up to be an agent by the CIA 6 years ago and has been giving information about the Chinese, both the Government and any new organized crime groups that may make there way into the States, for 3 years now. Although he's most likely using an alias, the name may be enough for Mantis to pick up on."

"But you said he disappeared off radar. Why are we taking this mission now?"

"Because we've received word that he's in one of the worst crime hotspots in the world: Roanapur." Liquid and Raven looked blank at this, Sniper Wolf nodded along with Octopus while Ocelot allowed himself a small smile.

"A trace thought in a large community? Especially such a wretched hive? Surely this is a joke. Even my powers have limits to range and to filter through such… unpleasantness is going to present a problem." Psycho Mantis hissed through his mask, insulted that he should have to use his powers for this.

"We're not going to use you to scan the entire city, we find someone who may be him or forged a new identity for him, check if he remembers the name and we've got him."

"Precisley, that is why your all going on a long trip. You'll rendezvous with your contact, a CIA agent going by the name Eda, within twenty four hours of touching down at the local airport. Ocelot will be the one doing the talking, and Mantis will confirm who we have. Considering that this place is more dangerous than most war zones and Ocelot's … shall we say history of work with GRU, the Mafiya, the CIA among other things," Ocelot shrugged, feigning innocence "the rest of the unit will be set as back up in the case he's recognised. Remember, we need the documents only, his survival is not necessary but our involvement in his death should it come to that should be kept as low key as possible, good luck: your going to need it."

--

**£10 to whoever sees the obvious confrontation coming soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters nor do I make a profit from this.**

--

It wasn't particularly early in the morning all things considered, back in Japan anything later than 6am waking up was considered late for Rock, and generally caused him to be late. Still there should be a point before lunch on a working day that people should wake up, even students and even what he assumed was a hung-over Revy, trying to find a gun to shoot whatever broke what little serenity her dehydrated state had brought her. "Hey Revy, you okay?" He whispered just loudly enough to hear and hopefully quiet enough for her to decide that he was the main source of disturbance.

"Be a lot better if that phone stopped making my head pound like a fucking jackhammer." Revy groaned, dropping the custom made 9mm on the floor.

And that, almost forgot about that… the phone was ringing for about a minute now, Rock was going to answer it before he saw Revy trying to level her aim at the offending distributor of annoying noises from the settee, face down in the pillow

"All right, I've got it." Rock said now that the coast was metaphorically clear "Hel-" he started before being interrupted very quickly and very loudly.

"_REVY YOU MOTHERFUCKER WHEN I GET MY FUCKING HANDS ON YOU I'M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR HEAD, SHIT DOWN YOUR FUCKING NECK AND USE YOUR FUCKING HAIR AS TOILET PAPER AND I FUCKING BET IT WON'T BE THE FIRST FUCKING TIME ITS BEEN USED YOU FUCKING… FUCK FUCKER!" _Rock's head flinched away from the phone as the American accented, offensive rant tried to outdo Pulp Fiction for number of times the F-bomb was dropped in the space of less than a minute.

"Eda?" He asked when the woman on the other end was panting, drawing breath for what would possibly be another rant before her tone dropped into something, partially ashamed of having wasted that, partially still angry.

"_Wait, Rock? Sorry about that, make sure that when that skank you work with gets here to pass on that little message would you?"_

"Sure, I'll do that Eda, no problem with that, Revy'll… she'll get the message." He said as Revy turned around so she was now facing upwards, her ears picking up her name.

"_It's a long story but I wanted to talk to you anyway, Dutch has stopped answering my calls and I really need a favour from the Lagoon company, isn't that mean Rock?"_ Eda said, her voice alternating between an impression of a hurt school girl and all business before dropping into her relatively normal tone for dealing with Rock_ "But you know how to treat a woman right don't you?"_ Seductive, the noticeable hint of mischief in her voice, the type that drove Revy angry very quickly.

"Uh… do I?"

"_Don't be so nervous Rock you can do this for me, can't you?"_

"It depends what 'this' thing is really." Thing number 41 he had gotten used to in Ronapour, generally when people wanted something done, they often left out some of the details when hiring outside help, in this case all of them. _And when did Dutch stop answering her calls? Isn't that bad for business?_

"_Its nothing major I just need you to escort about… let's see there's the cowboy, the guy who won't put on a shirt, the bigger guy who won't put on his shirt, the girl… about 6 people plus weaponry from the airport."_

"If its just 6 guys why is it such a big deal that you want us to do it? Surely the Church of Violence could spare something."

"_That's the thing these people are some extra muscle we picked up, hence the 'and weapons' part. If that crazy Russian saw we were gaining some extra people especially the likes of these fre- friends they might get suspicious."_

"Whereas if you meet them at the church for the first time she won't be so sure of the alliance between you and have no reason to inquire why the local gun-runners needed extra man-power for themselves, and so won't be breathing down your neck quite so early."

"_Clever boy Rock, that's what I like about you, you may not look it or act it sometimes but your one of the smartest people in the city. I may have to be more careful around you in the future, never know when some little secret might slip, and then I'll have to keep you quiet somehow, ooh, all the different ways to do so, maybe a little bribe will do or will I have to do something more drastic."_ Rock hoped that Eda would end this train of thought soon, for one it could be interperated as a threat to Rock's life, something quite a few people, most notably Rock himself would object to, worse it could be interperated with that tone of voice as her coming on to Rock again, and now that Revy was, up moving and signalling for the phone would probably end in the same way as the former, long story short, lot of dead people._ " They'll be arriving at 3pm today if all goes well, you'll be able to pick them out fairly easily, tell them your working for me, not the Church, and have them spend the night downtown so they'll come to us in the morning."_

"Why, you already got an appointment booked for tonight and don't wanna double book your orgy?" Revy asked, her hangover seeming to temporarily disappear to get under the skin of her "best friend"

"_REVY YOU FUCKING… how long have you been listening?"_ Eda screamed causing revy to wince this time.

"Well enough to know that you're probably not taking it up the ass tonight."

"_AND YOU'D KNOW ALL ABOUT TAKING IT THE ASS DON'T YOU? WHO WAS ON BACK DOOR DUTY LAST TIME? DUTCH? ROCK? MAYBE YOU PLAYED A GAME OF FUCKING ROULETTE WITH THAT RUSSIAN BITCH!"_

"Hey! I only took it in the ass from Balalaika once, and that was two years ago, and second what the fuck did I do to piss you off? Usually its me trying to break your scrawny little neck like a twig and now you got your panties in a twist over what? It's too early for this shit."

'_Wait',_ thought Rock as Revy massaged her temples to make the thumping pain subside, '_what was that about her and Balalaika?' _It was going to be one of those thoughts as he strategically turned away from someone who might be interested in the results of that thought.

"_You know what you fucking did last night, now I have to wear jeans, full length thanks to you, I can't wear my favourite pair of Daisy Dukes without the ink showing." _Revy just

"Um Eda… its me again, what exactly did Revy do to you?"

"_Oh no, I'm not falling for that one, you tell Revy that I'm not gonna say what she did so the whole company can have a good laugh over it, nuh-uh. Not happening. Just make sure to pick the guys up at 3 from the airport._

"Rock?" Revy asked, moving back towards the makeshift bed she had made out of cushions and duct-tapped upholstery.

"Yes?"

"What the fuck was she talking about?"

--

Airports, one of the most useful places, and most hateful, both at the same time. Opening up new areas of travel in exchange for a lot of money, the headache of trying to get everything checked in one hour prior, any delays and what was the worst of all to Revy and Rock, no smoking permitted. Not even in Ronapour, its like they wanted to keep some semblance of legitimacy to what was basically an air-based variety of the docks, full of illegal goods but the one law they stuck to, why would it be this one?

"So how we supposed to bring all these guys to wherever the hell they're staying? The cars only got room for 5 at max, and with the two of us." Her hands were slightly shaking from nicotine withdraw and it was only the duty free discounted bottles of Southern Comfort that were bringing her any well comfort, Rock was slightly better off, having gone and smoked the last of the packet before stepping in and a back up to be used immediately once outside again.

"Maybe we can get a few scooters and put the weapons in the car."

"Yeah maybe, I mean a few guys buddy up on scooters to go on the night downtown, that'll be a decent cover for them. Still, don't see why anyone needs a cover story, place like this, I don't think sis is gonna be too worried about whatever the church has planned, you'd have to be an idiot to mess with the big four here."

"Except possibly the Cartel" Rock mentioned

"Oh yeah those guys keep on getting their fucking asses handed to them whenever something big goes down."

"First they sent those boats after us."

"Then they got blown to hell by the glasses bitch."

"And Fabiola."

"The Mini-bitch." Revy confirmed with her own nickname for the maids of the Loveless family.

"What about the Sicilians?"

"Didn't they try and pull that vampire kids thing a year back?"

"Don't remind me, I still remember that one." Rock shuddered at the thought… the whole thing not only brought the city into chaos but just the whole concept still gave him the creeps, what one of them did to what was probably their first act of kindness they had ever received was an image still scarred in Rock's brain, something no non-fatal amount of brain bleach could remove.

"Okay yeah, that was genuinely fucked up. Moving on… the Triads, well no-one'll mess with those guys."

"Do you have some sort of history with them?"

"Well kinda, before I teamed with Dutch I used to be a hit-woman for Chan but that's old news. The Russians…"

"Crazy to even think about messing with."

"Hell yeah." Revy smirked, remembering when Balalaika had one of the cartel lieutenants tied up in his hotel room, phoned Dutch so he could hear the room explode. "So where the fuck are these assholes?"

"I think they're touching down now, flight D4356 from Arizona?"

"Don't know anyone who'd fly to here from that hell-hole, let's go." The Arrival lounge wasn't much different from the rest of the airport, few shops, all booze, no fucking lighters anywhere. _You'd think the fluid be easier to get here but noooo_ Revy was about to punch something, anything to relieve stress but right now she was wondering what the heck was this entourage, A blonde guy without a shirt, a 50 year old cowboy complete with fuck spurs and an ancient Single Action Army Colt revolver, _plenty of stopping power but one at a time reload, fucking show off_ , a women with brown hair and an outfit whose zip would not do up under any circumstance holding an attaché case, a relatively normal person… someone who would blend in a crowd well, fairly unremarkable but what was really obvious was the giant behind them, lugging two large cases, he was about 7 feet tall and his entire body was covered with tattoos "Rock?"

"Yes?"

"I can now see why the bitch said they might attract attention."

--

"So did Eda make sure you had a place to stay?" Rock asked, trying to make conversation, the trio with him and Revy were silent, the Blonde one seemed to be in charge of the operation for the most part, with the cowboy in the backseat just admiring his gun, Revy could almost her him moan as he slid a bullet into the chamber.

"We know where we'll be located for the next few days and where our business meet is so can you drop the subject?" He replied in a british accent, Rock sighed, the ride had been uncomfortable silence punctuated by the occasional annoyed driver.

"Okay, new one, why the fuck am I stuck in the back here between these two?" revy asked, trying to get the giants arm off her shoulder, it was bad enough they had to get rope to tie those cases into the boot.

"Hey, I'm hurt." The Cow

"Big woop."

"Well he… um Snake is the leader of the group and the three of them probably wouldn't fit across the back." That was another thing that got under Revy's skin, the code-names. Being called two hands by people she barely knew was one thing but they insisted everyone else reffered to them as that. _Eda, what are you planning you crazy bitch._ Revy thought.

"If I am causing an inconvienience I will make my own path along with Wolf and Octopus." The big man offered.

"No no its not a big deal." Rock insisted.

"Your partner seems to indicate otherwise."

"Its not a particually long journey to downtown just if I had a bit more specific indication…"

"The Yellow Flag." The blonde one… 'Snake' mumbled.

"Hm?"

"I believe there is a bar named that in this town, take us there and we will find our hotel from there." He explained.

"Finally the limey has the right idea. Hurry up Rock, I could do with a Jaegerbomb right now." Revy ordered, kicking the back of his chair.

"Won't Hotel Moscow be making its rounds right now? I don't particually want to be caught by them with well..."

"Eh, Balalaika won't be too quick on the mark to look into things if we don't talk to her, and besides Bato's got his protection from the Triads, the only risk is if they catch one of these guys scooter pals or they decide to come in have a drink."

"Whoa whoa, stop the car." Ocelot, the old cowboy said, his expression turning serious when Hotel Moscow was mentioned.

"What?"

"Now!" He ordered. The Car screeched to a halt as all its passengers jerked forward.

"What the fuck is going on old timer?" Revy said, reaching for the Cutlass

"Did you say that this Balalaika was part of Hotel Moscow? High ranking from the sounds of it."

"What's it to you cowboy?" She said, trying to see if she could fire it without the big guy… Raven as they called him reacting quick enough for him to jerk the gun out of her hand, lot of muscles so probably quite quickly."

"Tell me about her, she attractive?" Ocelot asked.

"Rock? Just drive." Revy sighed, her hand moving away from the holster.

"Got a face half-full of burn scars?"

"What's it to ya?"

"Served in the Russian military in Afghanistan, with her own special elite unit that she's now using as her personal mafia muscle?"

"Ocelot, are you sure you've never been here before?" Snake asked, as perplexed as everyone else.

"Never in my life." He said, suppressing a smile.

"You worked with her back in Russia?" Rock asked and he just burst out laughing, like it was the funniest joke in the world, wheezing as he calmed himself down.

"Yes and no kid, just tell her that the big cat said hi and she'll know who it is."

"Ocelot…" Raven said in a warning tone/

"What? I'm just bringing back a few old friends. No harm in making a few allies."

"If this screws us up it will be your neck that's broken first." Snake told him.

"I know, I know. Balalaika… haven't heard that name since… well the 80's."

"Rock, just get us to the fucking bar."

--

**Moving on with the plot. But where is Mantis, and who is Octopus disguised as this time?**


End file.
